How to be incredibly unsuccessful at everything cyber security - as a Manager and in your career.

Part three

As a manager

  • Do not invest in your people, they could challenge you, or worse replace you.

  • Keep having meetings, and wonder why no work is being done, then ask your people to work overtime for not delivering on time, they should be more effective.

  • Email and meetings are the most effective way at building trust.

  • Don’t spend time in the trenches with your people, all you need to know is on the time-sheet or can be discussed in a meeting.

  • Know that your staff’s families and hobbies come after your objectives. So feel free to send emails, make calls and schedule meetings at times that are convenient to you, and expect speedy replies.

  • Set unclear objectives and deliverables, because everyone understands the task at hand, which make you look good, right?

  • Measure delivery as a stick, not as a guide to develop and coach.

  • Hire based on certifications only, it means those people have passion. Tell HR to do the same, they should know what you’re looking for, and they really understand the intricacies of security.

  • Micromanage, because you hired so well, you need to know what every person is doing all the time, and how you would do it. Better yet do it yourself and do not mentor anyone. Because you can do it faster yourself.

  • Save money on quality coffee, equipment staff use, and office chairs.

  • Do not encourage flexibility, delivery only comes from fixed work hours.

  • Encourage employees to specialize, and not explore, it's easier to put people in boxes, and tool operators are easier to build than security people.

  • If you see an employee is having a hard time, do not do things like offering a lending hand or sympathetic ear, struggle builds character

In your Career:

  • Get into the industry for the money only, it is the only currency that matters here.

  • Change who you are and compromise your values to accommodate your employer, they pay the bills they own who you are and what you do,

  • Do not ever “check your privilege”, be it knowledge, status, race, sex – your perfect and everyone should be exactly like you, that’s how we solve complex problems.

  • Respect is something that comes with a title, you do not need to earn it, every day.

  • Always be the smartest person in the room.

  • Do not have a lab at home, the outlay and electricity cost too much (And there are no affordable online alternatives…)

  • Do not talk to anyone without someone else's permission. Moreover, you should not consider yourself obligated to do so until the right things happen.

  • Don’t be the person that your team can rely on, they don’t really need you.

  • If you're sick, come into the office, it shows commitment, and we all love making you chicken soup and you’re giving us the opportunity to also show our commitment.

  • You’re not accountable for your career, only your manager is. "No one told me" or, “X person said so” is a great excuse, use it often it shows you follow blindly, companies love that.

  • Do not hold your management accountable for honest, direct, and constructive feedback.

  • Do not join communities to learn and certainly do not share what you know with anyone, you worked hard for your knowledge, why give it away?

  • Don’t go to meetups, your Saturday morning hang-over recovery is way more important.

  • Do not take advantage of free certifications and training, they won’t get you noticed, and who cares if they teach you something new.

  • Do not contribute your time to anything or anyone else, unless they are willing to pay for it.

  • Do not socialize with peers from your company, clients, competitors or others. Don’t connect with people at all if possible.

  • Don’t invest time and effort in your personal brand, businesses trust businesses, not people.

  • Don’t ask for help if you need it, you can handle every situation.

  • Be a brilliant jerk, good technically, but have no relationship with your peers.

  • It's helpful when you vocalize your frustrations at peers rather than mentoring them, or understanding their challenges, learning the hard way, is the best way.

  • Be a lazy jerk, learning only happens during work hours or at the employer’s expense.

  • Be a jerk.

  • Don’t explore other domains in security, eg. if you are in firewalls, why care about the endpoint, it is beneath you to understand other areas.

  • Do not get a mentor, especially if they don’t agree with everything you say and how you think.

  • Hide problems, it's great finding out after the fact.

  • Tell your peers what upsets you but tell management only what they want to hear.